Talking is a skill:

From behaviours to billboards, suggestions of sex and sexuality filter into our lives. Still, knowing about sex doesn’t always translate into comfortable conversations, especially when it’s about what we want before and during sex.

You can never neglect the importance of communication in the process of having good sex. The willingness to talk about the kind of sex we have or want to have is a key thing. Whenever a person avoids vital conversations, he/she might be avoiding some awkwardness, yet settling for suboptimal sex.

Conversations between a couple have psychological emotional and mental benefits attached to it.

What and when to talk about:

Intimate conversations aren’t just about pleasure. Other topics about sex can include:

  • Sexual health
  • Frequency of sex
  • Exploring unknowns
  • How to deal with differences in what we and our partners enjoy

Talking about this is crucial in building a foundation for a better relationship. Exploring new things together while being on the same page is fun. It is worth getting past the discomfort to talk about health, particularly sexually transmitted infections (STIs) and birth control. It is crucial not to avoid these vital conversations that might be endangering your health in near future.

Own yourself by talking about STI’s:

You must feel awkward the first time you sexually open up to your partner discussing your health. Asking your other partner to get tested may feel invasive, especially if you’re having it before you have a chance to know each other, but not having these conversations can be worse.


Safe sex and birth control:

Just like STI’s, pregnancy affects both people involved. I mean we honestly can’t have safe sex without condoms, until it comes to permanent sterilisation. Condoms provide protection against infection and can prevent pregnancy over 80 percent of the time, when used properly.

If you choose not to use condoms, then start another conversation about birth control.

There should exist an urge to feel birth control as a responsibility for everyone involved. Make sure that you talk to your doctor about different types of birth control to see what options you have. There are many different types of birth control, so be sure to talk to your doctor about what your options are.


How much sex you’d like to have?

Constant communication is essential for every healthy sexual relationship. Focus on your mutual needs at first.

If you want to ask for less sex, you might try emphasising their attributes to suggest new ideas to form a new activity that you both might enjoy.

Some people feel awkward as they don’t want to be perceived as too sexual because they want more sex. Others might worry that asking for less sex could imply that their partner is doing something wrong.

Discovering likes and dislikes:

Talking about how touches, nuances, and even fantasies of sex could progress is less straightforward than talking about STIs, birth control, or frequency of sex.

Sexual likes and dislikes can run on a spectrum. There’s activities you love, ones you can’t even think about, and all the stuff in between. And what happens to things that you haven’t even heard of yet? Or when your desires change? Communicating such intimate needs requires a high level of confidence and trust. At the same time, communication builds that confidence and trust.

Think about what you would be comfortable with and what things you would be uncomfortable with. Remember you can always change your mind. Communicating these things with your partner helps keep things open. Talk to a healthcare provider if you are worried something you want to try could be physically or sexually dangerous.

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